I remember the days when I used to get excited by the fact that my favourite cider had a new flavour or that a club I love was doing 2 for 1 shots and free entry. Times are different now. The thought of having to get the kids sorted and then get dressed up to go clubbing makes me feel stressed and queasy. I’d much prefer to spend my evenings with my hair in a mum bun, no makeup on and ideally braless. I went shopping this week and now have my perfect night in planned for tonight. Me and the hubby are having homemade pizza, watching our new DVD and the best bit will happen when we go upstairs (no not riding the flagpole), new bedding. Everyone knows that one of the biggest pleasures in life is clean bedding and a freshly made bed. Especially when your bedding looks as good as mine.
I was supposed to be on a budget this week, being so close to payday, but I couldn’t resist this dreams and drapes set. It is so pretty and floral. Hubby wasn’t too happy with this being part of my ‘budget’, although he had to admit it looked lovely on. Plus, as I explained to him it was a brilliant buy as it is reversible, which in my book means 2 for the price of one. Now I just need pay day to hurry so I can get the bed spread and cushions too. Dreams and drapes, now I have found you, I think I love you.
Over the past couple of days Mr B has started crawling, (yay, everyone loves a milestone moment), he gets about 60 cm forward then gives up and has a lie down for a while. Mr S is amazed by it and follows him round the room. It was so cute, until Mr S thought that he could sit on Mr B’s back and ride him like a donkey on Blackpool beach. Poor Mr B has too put up with some nonsense from his brother. Luckily he is a tough kid and just gets on with it, he doesn’t seem to let anything phase him.
My Boys are 13 months apart and adore each other. They laugh at everything the other does, learn from each other and have already started playing little games together that no one else understands. I know I made the right choice having my boys so close together, but sometimes I can’t help but feel guilty. I remember when Mr S was learning to crawl and I sat and helped him for hours on end, watching to check nothing hurt his chubby little knees as he moved, as heaven forbid anything happened to my boy. Whereas Mr B will never experience this complete attention as he has to share me with his toddler brother, who will clumsily stand on his fingers or stand in his way as he gets going.
I feel guilty that the over 50% of Mr B’s wardrobe is hand me downs, but when you are pregnant again before you have even had your first baby clothes clear out, why would you get rid.
I know my boys are happy and healthy and get all the attention they require but I will always compare Mr B’s upbringing to Mr S’s, trying to compensate for the fact that they have to share me. I think part of being a mother is judging yourself and wishing you could give more to your little people, even if you are giving them all you have. I mean literally all I have. Mr B has taken a stuffed bunny hubby bought me and Mr S’s new trick is leaving his food but eating what ever I get for myself. Yesterday I brought 2 pieces of fruit into the garden and ate………. neither, as they were gone by the time I sat down. Part of me gets angry but the loving part thinks maybe he is just trying to help the diet effort, (1 stone down). Trust me son running round after you is enough, now give me my dam banana.
Good day to you. x