Friday, 20 May 2016

Mama bears mama bear.

I have no choice but to start today on a rant. Why oh why do people use the parent and baby spaces when they have no children. Clearly they want me to dint car doors while trying to squeeze out two little people and a double buggy. Parent and baby parking spots are there so we have more space and are usually closest to a path or safe area in which for your child to stand. Yesterday while shopping with my mum, in the time it took us to set the pram up and get the kids out, we witnessed at least three people park and get out with invisible children. I love that my mum took it upon herself to inform them they couldn’t do this. “I’ve just seen a carpark attendant putting tickets on cars using these spaces without children”. She hadn’t seen this, but it was non argumentative, non-confrontational and it made them move their lazy butts out of the spaces.

My mum comes out with some brilliant comments when she is angered by something. I particular like her road rage outbreaks. You haven’t seen road rage until you have seen my mum lean out of a car window and shout ‘penis head’ at a driver blocking the road. As she gets older she seems to be getting angrier. I’m really starting to picture her as an old lady shouting at the ducks in the park for quacking too loud. Not only is she getting angrier she is getting stronger, not always because she wants to but sometimes because life means she has too. 

My beautiful mama bear was recently diagnosed with cancer for the third time. All the way through her painful and tiring treatment she has continued to be an amazing mum while still helping me run after and play fight with Mr S and Mr B. Only my mama bear could find ways to joke about something so, (let’s be honest), shit happening to her. She has her scans in a few weeks but I know with how amazing she has been that she will have kicked ‘penis head’ cancers butt!

So as I mentioned earlier my mum, the kids and I went shopping yesterday. Like most people I love a good bargain, so was extremely happy to see that T K Maxx had a big toy clearance. Mr S found a Choo Choo, (train for those that are not fluent in toddler talk), reduced from £18 to £2, winner. He shook it at me shouting “Choo Choo”, he was over the moon when I said we could take it home, that was until chick chick gate.

 We wandered upstairs to have a look around the home section where Mr S picked up an egg timer in the shape of a chicken. I turned it and let the bell go off to show him what it did. He loved it. I told him to put chicken back in his house now so we could take Choo Choo home. He refused and repeatedly shouted ‘chick chick’. At this point, in Mr S’s eyes, I committed the worst act of bad motherhood he had ever seen. I took it off him, put it back on the shelf and handed him his new toy train. For anyone in T K Maxx yesterday I am sorry for what you saw next. Tears, throwing himself on the floor, shouting chick chick up the stairs, putting his new train back on the shelf, crying because he’d put his new train on the shelf. It was all very stressful but I told him if he is a good boy he might just get an egg timer for his birthday. 

Kids are weird when it comes to the things they choose to play with. I dread to think how much money is sitting in their toy boxes and yet I have just walked in to Mr S playing with a headband and Mr B very happily playing with a sock.
I do love it when I see them playing and happily entertaining themselves. It really warms my heart, not only that, it also gives me 5 minutes’ peace to do the important things like have a sandwich and brush my teeth. It’s also nice to have a few minutes to go to the toilet alone. I kid you not, every time I go to the toilet I am followed by Mr S. Today it stooped to a new low when he followed me in with a ball shouting catch. What makes it even worse is, I played, I sat there on the toilet and played catch. I thought motherhood would be all cute outfits and snuggles with my babies, not playing catch while I pee.

Good day to you x

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Badge for FartGlitter linky. Sketch of baby crawling.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry to hear about your Mum's diagnosis. I'm sure she will be kicking its butt. I'm definitely going to use that line in future about seeing an attendant. Nothing angers me more than people parking in those bays without kids. I have been known to say something before. #fartglitter


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