Hi, my name is bear, mama bear

I suppose I should really tell you a bit about me before I start. I am 27 and I have two beautiful children. Mr S is 20 months old and Mr B is 7 months old. They look and act completely different from each other but are both perfect in their own way. I have a stepson Mr J. He is 7 years old and I have been in his life since he was 4. He is completely different from my two boys and is well known for asking let’s say unusual questions and coming out with even more unusual comments. His best this month was when he told my sister after a fall that he had broken his nipples. I am married to a wonderful man. I know everyone says that but I really believe it. 5 months after getting together I had a breakdown and spent a lot of time in and out of counselling and doctor’s appointments. Throughout this he stood by me and helped me to become the woman and mother I am today.








As a mama of two beautiful little men under two years of age, I have a lot to both rant and cheer about. For example, today they both napped at exactly the same time, meaning a nap for me, (woooo mini mama fist pump), however they both woke up in terrible moods and my eldest, Mr S, snatched my glasses straight off my face and threw them in his toy box, cue me squinting and rummaging blind through endless dinosaurs and things that make noise.








Despite my son being a glasses thief I honestly think that my two boys are by biggest achievement in life. Threw them I grow and learn something new everyday. Today I learnt that jeans are rubbish on a slide and will slow you right down, what a big butt like mine needs is a smooth surface like cotton. So I decided to put on my long cardigan which covered my bum and created a great seat for the giant slide in the play centre, however I picked up too much speed, couldn't stop myself and wiped out two children at the bottom. I apologised profusely to their parents but I could see their judgemental looks. I understand they were angry that their little cherubs got wiped out by the fat woman whizzing down the slide, but hey, when you get to the bottom of the slide, MOVE!








The other difficult thing about these play centre type places is when another child does something to yours, like snatch their toy or push them out of the way to get on the slide first. Instantly your protective mama bear instinct kicks in and you are angry, sooooooo angry. Your first thought is, if I drop kick that kid will anyone notice, then you remember there is CCTV and their mother/father/guardian is watching them too and ya know their a kid. So you go with the only thing which is socially acceptable, make eye contact with the parent, let out a fake chuckle, usually followed by the words "o don't worry it's usually mine that do that". All the while thinking my beautiful perfect prince would never do that he is a delicate soul and ...... o wait, while I was thinking that he just threw a ball at that girls’ head.








 It's like a jungle out there, dog eat dog. I suppose it is preparing them for real life when people will push them down slides to amuse themselves, or throw them in the ball pool to make a path for themselves. I try and stand back and let them have some independence in a place like that for exactly for exactly that reason. I want them to be confident, to stand out in a crowd and to lead the way. What better place to start than in a group of runny nose toddlers all wanting the same talking phone?





So that was my day and also my first blog. Tomorrow I am taking Mr S and Mr B swimming. No doubt I will have plenty to write about after that, I just pray my second blog in no way includes the sentence, ‘and then he pooed in the pool’.





Good day to you X

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Mr S turns 2

Hi, my name is mama bear and I am here to hand in my membership card for the 2 under 2 club. I'm officially no longer a member. My little big man has just turned 2 and I'm not going to lie……… I'm heartbroken. 

 

Obviously I am happy that Mr S is a healthy, happy 2-year-old, yet I seem to find myself getting emotional at how quickly it has happened. I'm just not ready to have a toddler. I know everyone says 'time goes so fast enjoy it while you can', but it's true, time DOES go so fast, far too fast. 

It been a whole 24 months since the birth of my perfect little big man and in honour of that I'm going to share with you my birth story. 

I had a lot of pain towards the end of my pregnancy with Mr S, they never actually found why, they presumed some old scar tissue stretching, but I'll never truly know. As a result of this pain I was induced at 37 weeks. 

When I went in to be induced I didn't really understand the process and was expecting, as in one born every minute, a pessary and instant labour resulting in a wonderful birth, and maybe for some, that is what happens, that isn't what happened in my case. 

So I had my 1st pessary and went off for a long walk, or waddle as hubby called it. Then my 2nd pessary, at this point it was early evening so they sent hubby home. I felt so lonely and frightened. My contractions started in the early hours of the morning, they weren't strong or regular so they wouldn't bring my hubby in. When he arrived in the morning everything had stopped, dam false labour. So they went ahead with a third pessary and hours later still nothing. 

"We're going to take you to labour ward, break your waters and start the drip"

Having my waters broke was traumatic but once the contractions started and the gas and air made its arrival I had forgot all about it. I was contracting for 23 hours with regular examinations and only gas and air. After almost a day of pain I got the news I didn't want to hear. I was still only 2cms and they had to stop and proceed with an emergency c section. 

I broke down in tears. Everything suddenly went so fast. I felt like hundreds of people in scrubs arrived. Putting a gown on me, removing my earrings, removing my drip. Everything was happening at once. Despite all the chaos my hubby was right there, in our own little bubble telling me how proud he was of me and that we would have our baby boy in our arms any minute. 

I felt so dejected, I had been in labour all that time and I couldn't have the natural birth I wanted. I don't actually remember much of the C-section. I only remember hubby making constant eye contact with me telling me it was all fine, but his eyes looked nervous, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. 

Then I heard it, at 5.52am on 19th August  my baby boy cried as he entered the world. He was perfect in every way and I knew instantly I would love him forever. When they gave Mr S to us I noticed that hubby had a tear in his eye and because of that I broke down into the happiest tears ever. 

 

Despite the disappointment of having a C-section in the end, I enjoyed every moment of bringing my son into this world. I felt so close to my husband who was amazing throughout. I felt nervous as hell when we walked in as a two, I felt proud as hell when we walked out a three. 

Happy birthday Mr S!! 

Good day to you x

Mama bears mama bear.

I have no choice but to start today on a rant. Why oh why do people use the parent and baby spaces when they have no children. Clearly they want me to dint car doors while trying to squeeze out two little people and a double buggy. Parent and baby parking spots are there so we have more space and are usually closest to a path or safe area in which for your child to stand. Yesterday while shopping with my mum, in the time it took us to set the pram up and get the kids out, we witnessed at least three people park and get out with invisible children. I love that my mum took it upon herself to inform them they couldn’t do this. “I’ve just seen a carpark attendant putting tickets on cars using these spaces without children”. She hadn’t seen this, but it was non argumentative, non-confrontational and it made them move their lazy butts out of the spaces.

My mum comes out with some brilliant comments when she is angered by something. I particular like her road rage outbreaks. You haven’t seen road rage until you have seen my mum lean out of a car window and shout ‘penis head’ at a driver blocking the road. As she gets older she seems to be getting angrier. I’m really starting to picture her as an old lady shouting at the ducks in the park for quacking too loud. Not only is she getting angrier she is getting stronger, not always because she wants to but sometimes because life means she has too. 

My beautiful mama bear was recently diagnosed with cancer for the third time. All the way through her painful and tiring treatment she has continued to be an amazing mum while still helping me run after and play fight with Mr S and Mr B. Only my mama bear could find ways to joke about something so, (let’s be honest), shit happening to her. She has her scans in a few weeks but I know with how amazing she has been that she will have kicked ‘penis head’ cancers butt!

So as I mentioned earlier my mum, the kids and I went shopping yesterday. Like most people I love a good bargain, so was extremely happy to see that T K Maxx had a big toy clearance. Mr S found a Choo Choo, (train for those that are not fluent in toddler talk), reduced from £18 to £2, winner. He shook it at me shouting “Choo Choo”, he was over the moon when I said we could take it home, that was until chick chick gate.

 We wandered upstairs to have a look around the home section where Mr S picked up an egg timer in the shape of a chicken. I turned it and let the bell go off to show him what it did. He loved it. I told him to put chicken back in his house now so we could take Choo Choo home. He refused and repeatedly shouted ‘chick chick’. At this point, in Mr S’s eyes, I committed the worst act of bad motherhood he had ever seen. I took it off him, put it back on the shelf and handed him his new toy train. For anyone in T K Maxx yesterday I am sorry for what you saw next. Tears, throwing himself on the floor, shouting chick chick up the stairs, putting his new train back on the shelf, crying because he’d put his new train on the shelf. It was all very stressful but I told him if he is a good boy he might just get an egg timer for his birthday. 

Kids are weird when it comes to the things they choose to play with. I dread to think how much money is sitting in their toy boxes and yet I have just walked in to Mr S playing with a headband and Mr B very happily playing with a sock.

I do love it when I see them playing and happily entertaining themselves. It really warms my heart, not only that, it also gives me 5 minutes’ peace to do the important things like have a sandwich and brush my teeth. It’s also nice to have a few minutes to go to the toilet alone. I kid you not, every time I go to the toilet I am followed by Mr S. Today it stooped to a new low when he followed me in with a ball shouting catch. What makes it even worse is, I played, I sat there on the toilet and played catch. I thought motherhood would be all cute outfits and snuggles with my babies, not playing catch while I pee.

Good day to you x


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