Thumpers papa had it sussed

I am a mama of a boundary pushing 1 year old,  an extremely strong willed 2 year old and a step mama of a very inquisitive 8 year old. The reason I’m telling you this is so you understand why I am sometimes a mama on the edge.

So today I am here to inform everyone what you should never say to a mama, (or dada for that matter), on the edge.  In actual fact you shouldn’t ever say these things to any parent.

Just for the record these are actual things that have been said to me about my children.

1. You shouldn’t let your child eat that.

Oh, congratulations, I didn’t realise you had graduated from your degree in nutrition.......oh you haven’t.  Your just a wannabe Gillian Mckeith. Well guess what, no one liked her either. Now shush while my child has a biscuit!

2. You should shout at them for that, or they will never learn.
You are right, the way for them to learn right from wrong is a loud angry voice. I personally prefer to explain to them why it’s wrong, then give them a chance to understand why it’s wrong and correct there actions. But what do I know, clearly nothing or you wouldn’t be chirping up!

3. If he were mine I would ...........
Well luckily for my children you are not their parent. I am, and guess what, I’m bloody good at it.


4. They have a close age gap, you must be a glutton for punishment / have had no tv / be insane.
Actually  non of those answers, but thank you for that ridiculously offensive guess on why I have 13 months between my boys. I actually planned it this way. I wanted my children to be close in age for many reasons, none of which included the word glutton.

5. The way you’ve taught your child to ........... is wrong.
No my dear, I haven’t done it wrong I have done it differently to you. I may have taught my children in a way that wouldn’t work for you, but I can categorically say I haven’t done it wrong!

6. Why have you dressed him like that?
Because I carried him for 9 months, I then allowed a surgeon to cut a sunroof in my stomach in order to safely bring this child into the world. Therefore I will dress him however I see fit. Whether that be a pair of dungarees or a fucking where’s wally outfit.  (Just a quick note, I have not and will never dress my children  as where’s wally, well unless it’s world book day, then I might)

7. He should be potty trained, off the dummy during the day, able to count to 5, etc. etc. etc.
There is only one thing my children should be. HAPPY. I don’t really give a crap if Mr S still needs his dodo when he gets upset. I couldn’t give a toss if Mr B only talks when he feels like it. I most defiantly don’t care if my step cub takes 5 extra seconds to get a joke. That’s what makes my children, my children. They are unique, healthy, happy boys. They all learn in there own time and that’s o.k.

So please if your reading this and any of these points ever cross your mind when conversing with a member of the parent party. Bite your tongue, smile and walk away. In the words of Thumpers papa, “if you cant say something nice, then shut up”, well it was something like that.

Good day to you xx

P.s. if you enjoy my blog please share on Facebook, Twitter, anywhere!!!