Mama Bears shame

I’m going to use today’s blog to rant.  I am sick of being shamed as a mother. Maybe it is my own fault, maybe I just take things too personally. Either way it’s my blog and I will rant if I want too.

Mr S had his 1st haircut a few weeks ago. Before I took him for a snip snip snip, (as he calls it), he had adorable curly hair. It was quite long but I liked it that way. The only reason I had it cut was his curls became so unruly he consistently looked like stig of the dump. A few days before his snip snip snip I was in Primark pushing my pram. An older lady approached me to say, "is he a girl". Now the fact she said "is HE" tells me she knew Mr S was a boy and was just trying to make a nasty and rude point. "No he’s a boy" I said slightly confused by such a random question. "Well why has he got girls hair" then she walked off. I felt so hurt that someone had felt the need to say this to me while I was minding my own business. He didn’t look like a girl, he looked like an adorable little man with beautiful curls. So rude lady in Primark who tried to mum shame me........ screw you!!!!

A couple of days ago we were at stay and play having fun. As you already know if you have read my blog before I have 2 boys. My youngest is one and my eldest two. The thing I like about stay and play is the security.  It is all closed in so no one gets in, (unless you sign in), no one gets out. There are also three nursery team members who help the children play, which having two and being there on my own is very helpful. My boys are fiercely independent and strong willed, just the way we have raised them to be. For all of those  reasons it doesn’t worry me when they wander off to different types of play in the stay and play environment as long as I can see them. On my last visit I sat playing bricks with Mr S while Mr B messed in the water play. I could see him clearly and he could see me. After about 2 minutes of play it happened, I was mum shamed. Another mama very loudly shouted a nursery staff member, everyone turned round. "There is a little boy at the water play on his own. He’s been there about 10 minutes with no adult, he’s only a baby". I wanted the ground to swallow me. In that split second I had images of social services arriving, my worst parent award being prepared , then it hit me. This crazy woman was wrong. He had been there 2 minutes not 10, he was supervised I just wasn’t stood behind him and he isn’t a baby, he is a little boy developing his independence and social skills. I stood up red faced and the team member turned to me and said, "don’t you worry, the point of stay and play is some independence for mum and child". Just what i needed to hear. Thank Goodness that woman was there to help straighten my mummy crown and remind me I’m great. So mummy who shamed me  at stay and play .... screw you too.

My most recent mum shame moment was when I was shopping in the supermarket.  I have this pram.

I had Mr S on top and Mr B underneath because he needed to fall asleep and there are less distractions on the bottom. While I was sorting Mr S out who had dropped his drink on himself a lady came up to comment how cute he was. She notices Mr B underneath as she was leaving. “poor baba shoved underneath, I bet your forgotten down there, poor baba” then she left.
I felt like shouting after her “no lady he is not forgotten, why would i forget i came out with two little people just because one is lower”
I mean come on lady, it’s not hard to parent on more than one level, literally


A lot can be learned from these examples and the way they made me feel. The main thing I want you all to take away is every mama is doing the best they can, the way they WANT to. Stop shaming your fellow mamas, (and papas too for that matter), it hurts peoples feelings. Not just any people’s feelings either, the most tired people, and tired people can snap. You poke the parenting beast you may get bitten, you have  been warned.


Good day to you x

Mama bear and the pot pot

Mr S is currently in the midst of potty trying. It’s so easy and I’m enjoying every minute of it....... if you haven’t already realised I’m being sarcastic. Potty training is hard for both me and Mr S. I’ve read blogs, books and forums but I’m still not very good at it. 

 

 I’ve tried several tips which haven’t worked and some which have. My greatest fail was when I bought a toilet seat potty thinking he could go straight on the toilet. Before it even had its debut performance Mr S got his head stuck in it. My dad had to wedge it off because I couldn’t move for laughing. My health visitor suggested I do a wee on his potty to demonstrate. Since I left my pride and sense of embarrassment in a delivery suite 2 years ago I gave it a go. Mr S looked at me like I was stupid and then ran away and peed on my rug.

The only positive too trying to teach, (or should I say force), my difficult little man to go number one and two on a small plastic bowl is it gives me some stories to tell and laugh about.

When we first started the process Mr S would start shouting pee pee, I would sit him on his potty and wait......and wait and wait. Nothing. He didn’t quite get the concept, he thought it was just an excuse to sit down and have everyone’s attention. Because of this experience I wasn’t paying that much attention when he told me he needed it anymore. Big mistake.

Mr S was saying poo poo. I carried on dressing Mr B in his pyjamas and off Mr S went. I thought nothing of it. When I had finished getting my youngest ready for bed I got the potty and headed to Mr S room. I found him inside his pop up tent looking at his picture book. “What you doing baby” I said as I popped my head into the tent. He looked at me and smiled, I was thinking how cute he was, then I saw it. The floor of the tent was showered with puddles of liquid poop. I stopped and simply starred for a minute, I had no idea how to even begin this clean up mission. I did what any good mother would do. I got Mr S out, told him it was OK and we would try the potty next time, I picked the tent up, ran straight to the wheelie bin outside and then ordered a new one online. No amount of cleaning could have saved that tent, trust me. 

So we’re now at a stage where he has done a few number twos on the pot pot and we’re trying to master the pee pee. He is finding this hard as he doesn’t seem to be able to judge when he needs it. A few nights ago the boys were playing after bath time while I got everyone’s p.js ready. Mr S looked so confused when he started weeing, Mr B looked even more confused, but then he was sat in the line of pee pee fire. I had to take my little pee stained chunk straight back to the bath. Poor kid.

It gets worse than this though, if that’s possible. A couple of nights ago Mr S finally did a wee on his potty, which would be great, except I didn’t know he had done a wee on his potty. Poor Mr B didn’t know either and must have thought it was just a large mug of apple juice, that’s the only explanation for why I caught him drinking it. I couldn’t do anything but shout for hubby. I was dry heaving and shouting, “do something with him, brush his teeth, I’m going to be sick”. Poor poor kid. 

I’m not too worried because I know Mr S will get there eventually and I just need to persevere and keep up the praise. I’m also not too worried that Mr B got peed on as I’m sure he will get his own back in a few months when it’s his turn to potty train. In the meantime, I will just have to keep up my stocks of carpet cleaner and mop heads.

Good day to you x

Mr B's special day

We recently had Mr B’s christening and it was a perfect day. My in-laws were visiting from Australia so my little man had a celebration with his whole family, well close enough.

Everyone had a great time and my little man was spoilt rotten by all of our lovely family and friends. I am going to share with you Mr B’s christening breakdown.

Finally, a family shot where everyone is looking the right way and clean. I bought my dress from simply be. I love it, it is sky blue with little seahorses. The downside to my wonderful dress was the seahorse’s eyes. They have small black dot eyes, one of which was precariously placed on my breast, I spent the day with people trying to wipe it off thinking it was a mark. 

Warning...this dress induces groping of breasts.

 

 I loved my hair by the lovely Chelsea. Something about having your hair done makes you feel complete.

Mr B’s outfit was from TK Maxx and was a bargain. I bought it quite a while back so I can’t remember exactly how much but definitely worth looking in there for smart baby outfits they had loads and if you’re willing to have a really good rummage you will find high end designers.

I went for a rustic theme with plenty of hessian, browns and golds. I complimented this with the napkins and a hessian runner on the buffet table. I saved my Mason jars from coffee and then stuck blackboard stickers on them, (from poundworld), saying knives, forks etc.

I bought my hessian christening bunting from eBay it cost me about £10. I think it was worth it as it looked great over the buffet table.

I already had a light board so I thought I would utilise it. Mine was from quality save and cost £9.99. I love mine and my stepson loves writing messages to me on it.

I bought a length of hessian ribbon and hessian bows again from poundworld. I wrapped it around a wicker box I already had so it would fit with the theme. I filled the box with party bag goodies for the kids, you can see it on top of the fire surround. I had about 18 children there, ranging from babies to a 13-year-old and they all had fun with the contents, especially the colouring books.

I had a kid’s buffets table separate, I thought this the best way to stop them attacking the main buffet before I got to it. My wonderful sister made cupcakes, I made sweet bags and there was sticks of rock. The most popular items though were a large bowl of popcorn complete with popcorn bags and a self-serve scoop, all from poundworld, are you starting to see a theme with my shop of choice.

The stickers on the sweet bags were personalised and I had matching cupcake toppers made as well. Thank God for eBay.

I had props on the tables as I think they make great conversation starters and encourage people to take pics, which means I don’t have to walk around all day asking people to smile. I can just tag myself in everyone else’s pic’s. They were £2.99 for a box of 25 assorted props from B&M.

  

The buffet was amazing. It looked good, it was a good price and dammit it tasted good. I had so many compliments on the variety and quality of food. I got my buffet from Danielle at Fat Cats catering, or as I now call it, the greatest caterer in Greater Manchester. Honestly if you need a buffet email this girl fatcatscateringco@gmail.com.

The cake was exactly what I wanted for my boys christening and was even more special as it was made by his beautiful godmother. It complimented my theme perfectly and everyone loved it. I was a little sad when we had to cut it, but I’m glad I did because it tasted as good as it looked. The fruit was so fresh and juicy, well what I had of it, as soon as we cut it children descended upon us, “please can I have a strawberry”, “can I have blueberries on mine”.

Everything came together and we had an amazing day. We had the usual last minute drop outs and worrying that my outfit wasn’t quite perfect, but as hubby says, “why worry it is what it is”, and on this occasion he was right.

Thanks again to everyone who made Mr B’s day special.

 

Good day to you. x

Here comes Autumn

If you didn't find what you were looking for, try again using more specific search terms.I'm so happy right now because my favourite time of year is upon us. Hello Autumn I've missed your beautiful face. There are so many reasons why autumn is my most favourite time of the year, here are a few to get you excited for the coming months.

 

1.  It's getting cold. Now some people might see this as a bad thing I however see the positive in the cold. It’s so much easier to get dressed. I am a huge fan of snuggly jumpers and layers, they are so much more flattering than maxi dresses and vests and who wouldn't want to feel comfortable. 

(I think this will be my new jumper addition. I need to get my butt down to Plushbirds on pay day, its only £15 too. Click HERE if you want one.)

2. We can start wearing dressing gowns and slippers again. Which means 2 wonderful things. The first being that I get to go shopping for new robes and slippers. The second that my boys look super adorable and snuggly in their dressing gowns. Mr S loves his and wakes up every morning shouting "mama...... robe"

3. These boots are made for walking. I'm sick of sandals and flip flops. They make my feet ache and I have to keep on top of pedicures. With autumn comes boot weather. I have several pairs of boots varying from flats to heels.  I don't know what it is about putting boots on, they just make you feel ready to take on the world.

4. Autumn brings this wonderful smell. I can always tell that summer is coming into autumn because the evenings have this crisp smell of cold, I wish I could bottle it. The further into the season we get the better the smell, it gets colder and the smell of bonfires and fireworks begins to sneak in. Plus, all the shops starting stocking Christmas candles meaning there is a constant aroma of spiced apple and cinnamon.

5. The darker nights and mornings. Don't get me wrong I do miss the long summer days but the dark is better. There is something about night creeping in earlier that makes you feel homely and gives you the need to snuggle. Plus, it seems to be helping the kids sleep in past 5am which is a bonus in anyone's book.

6. As autumn brings the cold the food gets better. No more salads and light lunches as it's too warm to eat a big tea.  Bring on the beef casserole, corned beef ash and roast dinners. I also seem to use the slow cooker a lot more which means that lovely moment of coming home to the smell of cooking.

7. Walks become so much more pretty. I love throwing on our winter coats and wellingtons and going for a wander. Mother nature releases all her beauty this time of year. From frosty patches on the ground too red and orange leaves. I could walk in the woods all day looking at the beauty.

8. Television gets better. The little people in the box save all their best stuff up for now. They know we won't be sat in the garden or out in the sun in the evenings so they give us TV gold. The prime example of this being that walking dead starts in a few weeks.

9. Halloween. I'm just a big kid really I love dressing up. Now I have children I have an excuse to get into Halloween. I won't just be the weird woman sat on her own dressed as a devil. We pick our own pumpkins at the farm and then carve them, we dress up, the kids play Halloween games. It's just such fun. This year Mr S is old enough to really get involved so I'm going to town, cue scary decorations and hocus pocus film night.

10. Hats and scarves. A nice woolly scarf and hat not only blocks out the cold, it also makes you feel like a lil snow bunny. I also love hat weather as it means, messy hair don't care. Just throw a hat on and be on with your day.

So they are my main reasons for loving autumn.  I forgot the main one though. It's my BIRTHDAY!!!!!! Have an amazing autumn guys and dolls.

Good day to you xx

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