Some people won't do anything gross in a day, some people don't do anything gross in a month. I am not 'some people'.
I am a mother of 2 boys under the age of 3 and an 8-year-old stepson. I have a husband who can't, (or wont) clean up after himself and I am also a doggy mama, doggy auntie and doggy sister. All 3 dogs are here this week as I'm dog sitting. Oh the joys. All of this information basically boils down to the fact that gross is a daily occurrence for me. However today has been renamed 'gross day', not very catchy but gets my point across.
It is now 1.40pm and I have already been forced into doing 9 gross things. That is, I believe a personal record, maybe even a world record, (I can't prove this I'm just guessing).
1. I took Mr S’s nappy off this morning and before I could get a fresh one on he bolted. He then proceeded to pee on the bathroom floor, cue me wiping up pee at 6.45am. Great start to 'gross day' I'm sure you'll agree.
2. Mr B had pooped, I say pooped it was more melted chocolate consistency, up his back and into his hair in his sleep. My second job of the day was cleaning him up and stripping his soiled bedding. I'm starting to think my hands will never be clean by this point.
3. I came downstairs singing "things can only get better". How wrong I was. As I said earlier we have 3 dogs in the house this week, who I'm sure are trying to out shit each other! I sorted the kid’s cereal then went out to clear up all this poo. That's when number 3 happened. I stood in one......barefoot.
4. I proceeded to pick up the doggy presents with poop bags. My finger went threw one. I now know my hands will never be clean. I washed my hands with practically boiling water and as much soap as we had left, it wasn’t enough.
5. The next few hours went really well until I decided to restock the nappy bags, which hubby was last to use. I found one of Mr B's bottles, it had been used and still had remaining milk in. I'm sure I don't need to tell you it’s been warm. I swear the milk inside was starting to grow and smelt like an unshowered armpit. I enjoyed cleaning that bottle.
6. Someone, I'm guessing Mr S, threw my toothbrush in the toilet. With the day I'm having fishing a toothbrush out of the toilet seemed not so bad to be honest.
7. Mr B woke up from his nap. Basically repeat step 2.
8. Our front door is self-locking, therefore when I take rubbish to the bins I take my key, just in case. Due to the heat and damp we have had recently our bin is like the new cool hangout for every fly in the Manchester area. Put this information together and what do you get. Me taking the rubbish out and dropping my key in the bin. Rummaging through that hot, fly ridden, stinky rubbish was the point I decided today would be known as 'gross day'
9. Last but not least Mr B sneezed in my mouth.
Ladies and gentlemen I give you 'gross day'. Enjoy I'm going for an extremely hot bath and a gin. Not necessarily in that order.
Good day to you x